What is Divorce Coaching?
Divorce coaching is about working with you holistically to consider everything involved in your transition from being partnered to independent, and how to best manage your life and situation through that journey.
The best analogy is to compare it to a sports coach. For me, I played a lot of netball, you might have been into basketball, tennis, swimming, cricket, footy… whatever. Pick your sport! I’ll stick with netball.
So what did my coaches for netball do?
They looked at what we, their players, wanted to achieve. That was winning games.
Then, how could we win games? By getting more goals than the other team.
So how could we get more goals?
This is where the magic happens. Both in my metaphorical sports reference and in divorce coaching.
The coach gets to work with the individual. Sure, they can get the whole team to do the same drills to work on the same sets of skills – running, passing, defending.
But then they need to break it down to each, single, individual member of the team. Because each member of that team has a different skill set, fitness level and ability. The Goal Shooter will not train the same as the Centre, who won’t train the same as the Wing Defence.
What if a team doesn’t have a coach? They can still learn how to play the sport, they can practice themselves, they can get on the court and do all the things. Will they win? Maybe. Would they be as good as they were with a coach? Doubtful.
Coaches motivate and drive you to achieve your end goal. Being… possibly a goal, for most ball sports. In the case of divorce or separation, it is to lead an amazing life, after you end a relationship.
So as a divorce coach, I will guide you practically, honestly, and holistically, step by tiny step, in all areas of your separation, referring you to specialists when needed, and helping you to plan where you are going and how you intend to get there.
**If you and your former partner are looking to engage in collaborative family law (which is awesome, I do that too and I LOVE IT!), then you will need a divorce coach. This coach will work with BOTH of you, together and separately, to facilitate a practical and amicable separation for your family. Which is exciting. And super helpful.**
If you want to Separate Better, then book in an Initial Consultation session so we can get coaching. Let’s look at where you want to be, and work out the exact plan on how you are going to get there.
What I love about coaching clients in co-parenting mindset is that it involves so many different considerations and aspects.
Co-parenting is like a ball pit that you jump into and no matter which balls you grab or push aside, you just don’t seem to get out of it. Unlike child support, your co-parenting relationship will continue for probably your entire life. Graduations, weddings, baby showers. Adult children are still your children, and you are still a co-parent.
The proverbial ball pit is full of lots of different coloured balls, much like the numerous aspects involved in sharing children with a former partner. You have to worry about managing your emotions, nurturing your child’s emotions, supporting your child’s development (mentally, physically and emotionally), how the law impacts your role and responsibility, how things should operate logistically, and on the other side of all this is another adult who is scrambling through that very same ball pit as you. And you are trying to meet eye to eye. Which works sometimes, then one of you falls back into the pit. Darn it.
Unlike counselling or therapy, co-parenting mindset coaching focuses on the interplay between all these things, and how you can plan, manage, and adopt changes to improve your side of the co-parenting relationship moving forward. It is no substitute for therapy, and I will often recommend doing that in conjunction to work through any mental health related issues. Instead, we will work with your thoughts, how they might be impacting your actions and behaviours, and what may need to change to make you a better co-parent.
Think of it a bit like upgrading your tool kit, and getting hold of the best tools for the job, rather than just trying to make it work with the ones you have. Which is confusing because no amount of tools is going to help you in a ball pit. But you get my point.
If you think that co-parenting mindset coaching could help you moving forward in your relationship with your children and the other parent, book an Initial Consultation with me and we will get started. I can’t wait.
Seriously, though, I can’t. It’s really important for the kids, and I think kids are awesome and deserve the best parents they can get.
Are you a professional working with families?
Whether you are in therapeutic and social services, legal or other family support role, working with families at times of need can be challenging, and mentally and emotionally draining.
Whether you are working with separating families, domestic and family violence, child protection, or other crisis events or circumstances, chances are, you take a lot of your work home with you. Literally and figuratively.
Professional supervision isn’t about counselling you around vicarious trauma. I am not trained to do that nor do I purport to be able to do this. Rather, it is like an executive debrief.
In a safe and confidential space, with a professional who has experienced working with families in crisis and children with trauma, we will unpack difficulties you may be facing in your role and how to tackle them pragmatically and effectively to improve your capacity to continue in your job, or to make it work whilst you look to more suitable avenues for your career long term.
Being separate from your employer or workplace means that we can be open and honest, and speak frankly about the challenges, both work and people, and consider how you can plan for your professional future be it where you are, or where you want to go.
I’ve been there and done a lot of things. In my work life, I’ve washed dishes, made coffees, sold sparkly men’s thongs (not for their feet), sold Levi jeans, managed a surf store, been a real estate agent, scared kids and adults alike as a performer at Dreamworld, given away free drinks as a promo girl at a Surfers Paradise nightclub, was a PA and paralegal in a commercial law firm, appeared in promotional photos for QUT, Oaks Pacific Blue and The Newcastle Club, declined a commission as an officer in the RAAF, worked call centres, served customers in Centrelink offices, and removed kids from their families as a child protection lawyer.
I’ve done some volunteer work here and there too.
I know what it is like to doubt your career path, to question your abilities, and to wonder what the hell to do with your life. If you think I can help you, jump on and book an Initial Consultation with me today.